My Mother Is A Cyborg
by MaggieMerc
Summary: A fluffy series set in a fluffy future and centered around a fluffy Callie/Arizona/Sofia family unit and their celebration of holidays.
1. Chapter 1

Title: My Mother Is A Cyborg

Author: Maggiemerc

Rating: PG

Relationships: Callie, Arizona, Calzona

Spoilers: For season 9. But set in the future when things are quite so intense.

Disclaimer: No I don't own them but if I did their season 9 plot would involve makeouts in the shower.

Summary: Sofia has decided on a costume for Halloween but it involves Callie making a request.

Author's Note: A little fluff because everything is all dark and drama and sometimes we need something fun and sweet!

**My Mother Is A Cyborg**

"Mom can Mama be a cyborg with me this year for Halloween?"

Callie did everything in her power not to drop her spatula. "Excuse me?"

"I want to go as a robot," Sofia explained, "And Mama should go as a robot because she's already part robot."

Anyone else saying that would have gotten smacked with the spatula. Her daughter though... She poured her eggs onto her plate, turned off the stove and put her spatula aside. "What makes you think Mama's a robot?"

Sofia was slathering more apple butter than was probably healthy onto her toast. "Because she has a robot leg." She punctuated this observation with a loud bite. "And robots have to charge their batteries or they'll die. And Mama has to charge **her **batteries or her leg doesn't work and she gets cranky."

Arizona had managed to forget charging it all of twice. Once when they were doing things in an on-call room and then Callie had to put on her scrub top without a bra and run across the hospital to get a charger and once the week before when she'd used the plug Callie had noticed was acting wonky and it hadn't actually charged her leg. She was **significantly** crankier the second time. There was now a reminder sign above the outlet and Arizona was suggesting she get another leg for emergencies so she wouldn't have to wear her jogging leg with the big foot blade to work when her main leg wasn't working.

Though it was really because there was a new model and they could dye the titanium a lovely magenta color that was just purple enough of a pink to be "hardcore."

"So you want to be cyborgs."

Sofia nodded.

"Can I be one?"

She shook her head, "No. You have to have batteries to be a cyborg Mom."

"So **you** have batteries."

Sofia tapped the giant MagLite she'd recently appropriated as light/lightsaber. "I need two D batteries. Also I have a robot leg like Mama but mine shoots lasers out of the knee and I can't take it off and hit people with it like she can."

**Someone** had heard Arizona's new favorite rant about taking off her leg and clubbing irritating people with it. That probably wasn't good for a four year old to hear.

"Well," Callie said with an overly dramatic sigh, "I guess I'm taking two robots trick r' treating then huh?"

####

There was a little concern with bringing it up with Arizona. While she was incredibly patient when it came to their daughter and her leg she was decidedly less patients with adults.

She took a deep breath and opened the door to their shared office.

And stopped dead. Arizona was sitting on the floor with half a grocery store's supply of aluminum foil, permanent markers and a lot of aluminum tape.

"Did you say yes," Arizona asked brightly.

"I…"

"She asked me while she was getting dressed if we could be robots together and I said she had to run it by you first but I kind of liked the idea anyways so I was going through supplies!"

"Why would she need to ask me?"

Arizona's face relaxed and she spoke softly, "I know you can get sensitive about it."

She shut the door so Sofia wouldn't hear and came closer, "I'm not sensitive. I'm—"

"You are."

Callie started to protest but Arizona tugged her down next to her. She gently ran her thumb over Callie's cheek and involuntarily Callie leaned into the touch. As long as they'd been married it still made everything better. It always had. Even when they were—whatever they were doing.

"You're sensitive so I don't have to be Callie and I love you for that."

Arizona was smiling consolingly one moment and spontaneously leaning in and kissing Callie brightly the next.

She pulled back, "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable Arizona."

"I know."

Callie looked away because it really seemed like she **did** make her uncomfortable. Sensitive? People would stare and Callie would scowl back. It was only right. They were being the jerks. She was trying to—to protect her wife.

"Hey," Arizona put her scissors down and grabbed both of Callie's hands. "Stop that."

"What?"

"Thinking I'm saying more than I'm saying. I mean it Callie. When you're not there it can be exhausting in public. Because I have to always be prepared you know? There are all these," she searched for a word because Arizona really didn't curse much, "idiots. And they look at me like I should be pitied. Or like I'm not all there. I mean two days ago a woman told me I shouldn't carry Sofia because I might fall and hurt her."

Callie's mouth dropped open. Her brain was already moving through a series of questions she needed to ask so she could find the woman and do something she might get arrested for.

Arizona squeezed her hands, "But when you're there I don't have to worry. You worry for me and I can just be," she looked down at her shortened leg, "I can be the woman you married."

She reversed their hands so she could squeeze Arizona's and leaned in to rest her forehead against her wife's. She didn't need to look her in the eyes. "You **are** the woman I married."

She didn't need to look down at her leg either. It didn't matter. She loved the woman who sent a four year old out to do her dirty work and sat in her office making a foil robot costume.

But just because she didn't need to look Arizona in the eye to convince her she was and would always be that woman she walked down the aisle to meet her didn't mean she couldn't press her lips to Arizona's in a heated kiss that quickly turned into something giggly and perfect and not for their daughter's eyes or ears.

####

Trick r' treating with a pair of cyborgs almost didn't happen. Mainly because the prosthetist was late for the fitting of the much hyped pink leg. But just when Callie was preparing herself to tell Sofia they were going to have to go alone her phone buzzed with a text to come outside.

Arizona had acquired more than her initial costume of foil shorts and shirt. She had a crutch that doubled as a giant gun and a small one for Sofia whose costume mirrored her mother's a little too literally.

Arizona held up her crutch gun, "See. The interns are good for something."

Callie rolled her eyes. She usually just had them pick up her dry cleaning or grab her lunch—not fabricate a very cool gun out of piping, paint and a crutch.

She slipped her arm around her wife and watched as Sofia ran around the front yard making explosions and dodging them.

"How'd it go?"

"Awesome. I'm a little tired though. I figured the crutch might be a good idea just in case."

She rubbed her hand up and down Arizona's arm, "I can always carry you."

"What? You're a badass human. **I'm** a badass robot. I don't need to be carried," she scoffed.

"Can I be your badass human friend you lean on then?"

"Yeah—"

They were interrupted by Sofia. She'd stopped waging imaginary war in the front yard. Something had caught her eye and she ran back to them.

"You got it!"

Arizona grinned and lifted her thigh. Her new black and pink leg didn't even swing. "I did. What do you think?"

Sofia studied it a moment before touching it with none of the tentativeness most people had around it. To her it was just a part of her mother. "It's neat."

"It's pink," Callie whispered into her ear.

Arizona kissed her wife's neck and murmured, "It goes with the bra I'm wearing."

A very pleasant heat shot straight through Callie and she snatched a quick peck on the lips before dropping her hand into Arizona's for solid G-rating hand holding. How fast could she get her daughter through trick r' treating and into bed?

Sofia, not realizing her Mom was suddenly keen for a robot strip tease, put herself between them and grasped both their hands and began regaling Arizona with a tale of their many adventures as robots.

Callie caught their silhouette in the waning light. There they were out on the scariest night of the year. She'd protect them—against all the monsters and bigots and idiots. She'd be sensitive so they could be strong.

Her two perfect cyborgs in the sharp relief of the shadows of twilight.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: My Mother Is A Cyborg 2

Author: Maggiemerc

Rating: PG

Relationships: Callie, Arizona, Calzona

Spoilers: For season 9. But set in the future when things are quite so intense.

Disclaimer: No I don't own them but if I did their season 9 plot would involve makeouts in the shower.

Summary: Arizona makes it home in time for Christmas dinner.

Author's Note: So I guess this is a little fluff series set in the future? Who knew!

**Part 2**

It was only the third official Shepherd Christmas Eve dinner but at the hospital it was already considered an annual affair. And invites were scarce. As in invites were almost non-existent. It was more a closer circle of friends they'd cultivated…and Callie and Arizona. Callie joked it was because they just wanted Sofia so Zola would have someone to play with.

Derek joked that it was because he needed someone helping him in the kitchen. This was closer to the truth. They'd started having dinner together as families so the girls could get to know one another, but it slowly morphed a weekly affair where she and Derek cooked and Arizona and Meredith smiled politely at each other and looked for something to talk about.

That Christmas Eve Callie pushed her scheduled surgery, convinced Carson to be on call and spent the entire day in the kitchen with Derek. He insisted on goose despite neither of them knowing the first thing about goose.

And pie. And bread. Stuffing. All the other stuff was easy. It was the goose they had to figure out. Specifically how to tie it.

"You cut open brains for a living, you can't tie a goose?"

"You build legs I'd think that'd make you more qualified."

Sofia and Zola offered their help but they also both had runny noses that they kept wiping with their hands so Callie sent them out of the kitchen pulled out the tablet and looked up a video.

It was still more complicated than it should have been but they finally got the bird bound up and in the oven.

Then they remembered all of the other food they had to make and Derek quietly pulled out the wine to help lubricate their afternoon.

The guests started arriving at five and bearing even more wine and food. Except for Alex who came with a bottle of scotch and the assurance that Arizona would be the last one there as she'd insisted on doing the massive twelve hour surgery that could have waited for after Christmas. "His family needs a present too," she'd explained when Callie brought up the schedule.

She knew as soon as she saw Arizona step out of her car that the surgery had gone well. There was a self-satisfied smile on her face that only came after a good surgery. It had also exhausted her. She limped up the driveway leaning heavily on the cane she rarely used in public.

Callie excused herself from the group of friends crowding around the fireplace drinking wine to greet her wife at the front door. "How was the surgery," she asked, taking Arizona's coat.

"Awesome," she responded brightly, "and I think I got a paper out of it."

"Twelve hours straight in the OR you'd better."

She slipped her arm around Arizona's waist and her wife immediately sunk into the support. They hadn't done that often before. They were nearly the same height and it wasn't like Callie could really **carry** Arizona most days. It was more how natural putting her arm over Arizona's shoulder had always been. She'd sort of slump into Arizona and Arizona would support her.

Since then it shifted. Arizona wasn't the type of woman who sought support from others. So Callie created a new habit. Instead of curling her arm around her wife's shoulder she curled it around her waist and Arizona said nothing but accepted it gratefully.

No one mentioned Arizona's heavy limp in the living room. Cristina surreptitiously vacated the couch so Callie and Arizona could sit together and Meredith brought Arizona a glass of wine without being asked but that was the only thing close to acknowledging her exhaustion.

Derek looked up from where he was playing with his daughter and Sofia. "How was the surgery?"

"Awesome" Arizona said, being much brighter than her exhaustion should have allowed, "How'd cooking the goose go?"

"It's cooked," he said matter of factly.

Meredith wrinkled her nose.

"I think it looks gorgeous," Callie opined. She squeezed her wife and dropped a kiss on her temple.

Sofia got up for her game and ran to wrap her arms around Arizona's leg. She always went for the right leg and even as a child subtly braced herself, like she'd catch her mother if she lurched forward and fell.

She looked up brightly, "Hi," she said.

Arizona grinned and ran her hand through her daughter's dark hair. "Hey." She used her to brace herself and stood up, surreptitiously handing her cane to Callie so she could stoop down and pick Sofia up. "How was your day with Zola?"

"We built a space ship!"

"You did?"

"I got to be Han Solo," Zola called from across the room.

"And I was Leia. And Derek was C-3PO."

Callie snorted into her wine and Derek disappeared into his office to avoid teasing.

Cristina flopped back onto the couch when Arizona continued holding her daughter instead of sitting. From there she asked, "Why are you Han and Leia?"

"For the kissing," Sofia said seriously.

It was Meredith's turn to cough. It then turned into a hacking as some of the wine went the wrong direction.

Zola groaned and like her godmother flopped, only onto the ground instead of the couch. "No," she moaned, "because Han gets to shoot people and Sofia wants princess hair."

It went without saying that Sofia was jealous of Zola's hair, which was usually in elaborate braids. Callie had no idea how Meredith had time to do it. When she left the house she was lucky enough to get Sofia out tangle free.

"And the kissing," Sofia taunted.

Arizona raised an eyebrow. She glanced at Callie who shrugged. She had no idea where her daughter was getting the kissing thing from. Sure they were all free with the affection and Sofia's father had been one of the most lascivious people Callie had ever met, but she didn't think that was hereditary before puberty.

"What's with the kissing obsession," Arizona asked finally, "and did C-3PO supervise?"

Sofia pushed at her mother's chest until Arizona let her go and then she grabbed her hand. "No. This was afterwards with Chewie. Come on I'll show you!"

Zola stuck the little pistol she'd been playing with into her waistband and took Arizona's other hand. Each girl unconsciously walked a little slower and more steadily than they usually did so, carefully crossing the room while providing support for her wife.

When they were out of earshot Cristina laughed. "You guys are gonna have to go to throw their wedding one day."

Meredith shrugged. "It's legal now."

"Yeah," Callie said, "and we're not the one stuck as godmother to both of them."

The dark grin on Meredith's face was deeply unsettling. "That's right! You know the godmother buys them their first house right?"

Cristina ignored them and twisted on the couch to watch the hallway where Zola's room was. "They're not giving her a show are they?"

Callie scowled, if she were Meredith she probably would have swatted Cristina. Not being Meredith she was fairly certain physical contact would end in something scary.

"Cristina," Meredith objected, "don't be a perv about my daughter."

"Your daughter is pretending to be an intergalactic sex fiend. I'm not the pervert here."

"Did Han Solo really get that much action?"

"More than a six year old," Callie said into her wine glass.

Suddenly Arizona yelped and came limp dashing out of Zola's room. All three women shot out of their seats and Derek reappeared. She reached out to brace herself against the wall and panted.

"Honey?"

"Chewie—Chewie is alive," she gasped.

The other adults all looked at one another confused. Arizona turned and leaned her back against the wall, still trying to breathe. "They have kidnapped a squirrel and are using it as Chewie and making kissy faces at it and I don't think it has rabies but someone else has to go check."

Cristina was the first to speak and her words were deep. Profound eve. "Pervy."

####

Arizona carefully pulled her leg off and sighed in relief as the sock came off with it. It was the first time her limb had been exposed to air in hours and the feeling of it being unencumbered was nearly orgasmic.

Maybe too orgasmic. Callie watched from the doorway with a grin. "You sound like our daughter and her new pet squirrel."

She tossed her stinky sock at her wife's head. She caught it smoothly and tucked it into the bag hanging on the door filled with her other dirty socks.

"They caught a squirrel." A tiny rodent that could have flown at Arizona's face or run up her leg or given her daughter rabies before pooping all over Zola's bed.

Callie, despite allegedly "hating nature" was far from horrified. She just nodded sagely. "And named it Chewie."

"This is Bailey you know. She taught them all about Star Wars and now our daughter is in there hoping Santa brings her a very tiny bandoleer for her new pet."

"Santa got her many other cool gifts which are already set out in front of the tree."

Arizona groaned in relief and sat down on the sink counter. She hadn't been looking forward to putting out the presents—preferring her own childhood when everything was still magical and pre-wrapped. She closed her eyes and let the aches of the day leech out into the cool marble countertop beneath her. "Thank you. Santa should come over here for her milk and cookies because other Santa is too tired to walk."

"Other Santa? Not Mrs. Santa?"

She peeked at her wife, who was pulling a fresh wash cloth out of the cupboard. "You will be surprised to learn that Santa is asexual."

Callie "mm hmm'd" in agreement and ducked in for a quick kiss while her hands smoothly reached around Arizona and soaked the cloth. "This asexual concept interests Santa in a purely medical manner."

"Uh huh." She snatched another kiss.

Callie gently washed her residual limb, pausing to massage her thigh muscles. "However this Santa finds other concepts more interesting."

She plucked the washcloth out of her hands and tossed it into the sink before draping her arms over Callie's shoulder and pulling her close with her leg. "**This** Santa finds the creepy C-3PO intonation creepy."

Callie snorted. "C-3PO has such nice hair though."

She swatted her shoulder, "Stop it. This is sexy time. No Shepherds allowed."

Callie reached down grabbed her by the thighs and pulled her up and towards her. "Sexy I can do." It probably would have been really sexy. Callie was strong and could cold lift Arizona if she really wanted to. But not after a long day of cooking and Christmas preparationg.

She stumbled and Arizona dropped her leg to brace them both. But Callie sort of swayed with all the movement and Arizona ended up crashing into her. They both tumbled against the wall and only held themselves up by some quick hand work. Arizona's nose mashed into Callie's cheek and they both giggled.

Seeing as she was already there she pressed her lips to the spot just beneath Callie's ear, "That was not sexy."

Callie snaked her hand around her waist. "The floor can be sexy."

"Not at our age. Bed."

They kissed and fondled and hop shuffled their way back towards the bedroom. Where their daughter was splayed out in the middle of the mattress sound asleep.

"No sexy," she pouted.

Callie sighed and snuck another kiss before guiding Arizona onto the bed and leaping over her to take the other side.

Arizona slipped her way deep down under the covers. The fabric was surprisingly chilly despite the petite furnace at the center of the bed. Callie risked scorching herself to reach over it and grab Arizona's hand.

"Love you," she whispered.

She ran her foot across Callie's leg before tucking it between her calves. "Love you too."

Their little rodent collecting Leia twisted a little in her sleep and dazedly murmured, "I love R2-D2."


End file.
